ls it me or your new truck? Don't try to make this about me. lt's about you!
- How is that about me? - Ohh--
- Miss Mannis! Miss Mannis! - [ Reporters Shouting ]
Man, she pushed you right down.
Yeah, she's stronger than me.
- lt's not about me. lt's about you! - How is that about me?
[ Handy Groans ]
Well,you heard it here first.
lt looks like Sally is going to cast her ballot in favor of the president.
l'm Christy Adams, TVNN News.
[ Laughs ] Yeah, baby, you're going down.
So, what do you think? Should l set up another date?
- Why not? - Excuse me.
Grace?
Grace? Well, what's her problem?
Maybe she saw the numbers.
You may have done all right with the girl, but the debate was a disaster.
- What are you talking about? This is impossible. - lt's a small town, Eagle.
The rules are different here.
Uh, well, you guys are the hotshots. Brainstorm.
Well?
[ Clears Throat ] Uh... sir?
- [ Clears Throat ] Excuse me. Mr. President? - Yes?
- We could eliminate him. - What?
You wanna make it look like an accident, of course. Maybe his brakes could go out.
- Oh, my God. - Or he could slip on an oil slick.
What, are you insane?
Uh, no, sir, l was-- l was just brainstorming.
Did l misunderstand the question?
Thank God you guys are on our side.
- Thank you, sir. - Thank you, sir.
- Uh-- - Hello.
Small-town politics. Oh, boy.
[ Sighs ] Well--
- l like three sugars. - You only need one.
- l like three. - Three's unhealthy.
- What's eating you? - Eating me?
Yes. Somehow you seem irked.
- lrked. Really? - Really.
Well, actually, l am a little bit irked, now that you mention it.
- Would you like to know why? - Absolutely.
Sit down there, Grace, and tell me all about it. Okay?
Well...
when you-- when we first came to live here, l--
- Yes? - [ Clears Throat ] Excuse me, Mr. President.
Excuse me. Could we have a minute here, please?
Sorry, Eagle. We have an emergency.
- Unless somebody's dying, Bert, l don't wanna hear about it. - lt's Charlotte.
She's coming here.
Howdy. Handy for mayor.
[ Charlotte ] Vote for Handy.
Go to court. Get a restraining order.
Come on, people. We gotta do something about this.
- The sure way, sir? - Dyer, this is too smart for her.
Who thought of this? lt was him, wasn't it? Yeah.
- Grace, l'll handle this. - Yes.
[ Charlotte ] Handy Harrison. That's right. That's who l'm campaigning for.
Vote for Handy.
l had dignity once.
Does anybody remember that?
- [ Charlotte ] Handy for mayor. - [ Reporters Shouting ]
Why aren't you campaigning for the president? Did Handy put you up to this?
Hello, Monroe. What brought you here?
Charlotte, hon, could we talk in private, please?
This is as private as l got for 20 years. What's on your mind?
Well, sweetie, if we could just talk alone...
- l'm sure we could work something out. - Howdy! Handy for mayor!
- Could we go inside, please? - Fine.
[ Reporter ] Why do you think she's here, Mr. President?
- Okay, Neil. That oughta do it. - Stand back, please.
The president's coming. Hide the payroll benefits.
- Charlotte, would you step into my office? - Yes, dear.
- Charlotte-- - Married couples have a shorthand, Monroe.
Ours is nine million dollars.
- Nine? l don't have it! - Twenty-five years.
A quarter of a century l endured, and now you're pleading poverty?
You took the house, the boat.
You've taken everything but my title.
Hello. This is former First Lady Charlotte Cole.
l spent 25 years with Monroe Cole...
which is why l'm supporting Handy Harrison.
Yes,you heard me. l'm supporting Handy Harrison.
Eagle?
Have l gotten through to you, lambkins?
l never thought you'd stoop this low, Harrison.
l thought this was gonna be a fair fight between two honorable men...
but l can see now that l'm up against somebody who doesn't play by the rules.
- Have you no sense of decency, sir? - l'm sorry.
Talk about hitting below the belt. Bringing a man's ex-wife into it.
You're showing your true colors, aren't you?
- Hey! l had nothing to do with this. - [ Door Closes ]
- [ Reporters Shouting ] Mr. President! Mr. President! - Watch your back.
That's it. l've had it. l want 'em both. Be thinking about a way to do it, Dyer.
Sir.
- ls he serious? 'Cause l thought-- - No, no, no!
Mr. President! You want a fair fight?
You just called me dishonorable, sir, a-a-and l'm not.
So if it's a fair fight you want--
just you and me--
l think l know the place.
You're on.
What are we doing here, Harrison? What are the stakes?
- Mayor? [ Laughs ] - No, sir.
Sally. Loser backs off of Sally.
- We're both 1 0 handicaps, sir. - [ Clears Throat ] Sir--
- Fair fight. - You're on.
- lf l could just talk to you for a quick second-- - Show me the way.
Sir, there's something l'd like to discuss with you about your ga--
Eye line.
[ Monroe ] Nice shot.
- [ Handy ] Thank you. - A little bit left.
Right where l was aiming.
- l might drive the green. - [ Chuckles ]
[ Horn Honking ]
Hello! Wait for me!
- What are you doing here? -Just making sure a fair fight's fair.
Call them out, Mr. Dyer.
l'm, uh, sorry, ma'am?
[ Whistles ]
Cloud! You and your men, come on out!
Oh, shit.
Come on! l know you're there!
All right, come on out.
Everyone onto the fairway.
Let's move. On the fairway. On the fairway.
[ Cloud ] We're securing the perimeter, Mrs. Cole!
Secure it from there. Okay?
Yes, ma'am.
Stay in position.
Hit away, lambkins.
Wait-- W-Wait for the bounce.
Damn. Take a mulligan.
We're playing for a woman, sir. There's no mulligans.
What? What do l do?
- You've never hit a ball out of bounds before? - Not since l was governor.
You hit another one from here, shooting three.
- Three? - Three.
One, two--
Shooting three.
- [ Clears Throat ] Excuse me, Mr. President. - What?
You can't beat him, sir.
What are you talking about? We're the same handicap.
Well, your handicap... is augmented.
- What are you trying to say? - Well, it was really Miss Sutherland's idea.
She had Dyer and Cloud...
and occasionally me-- uh, we helped you...
with lucky bounces and score card fudging.
Uh, you can't beat him, sir.
ls there a problem?
No.
No problem.
[ Grunts ] That one's in.
Didn't quite get it on the green.
[ Sarcastic Chuckle ]
No, l-l-l'll take it.
You two have helped enough.
- [ TV:Announcer, lndistinct ] - ## [ Humming ]
Hi, Peggy. Can l get a black coffee?
Sure.
Hello.
- Here you are, dear. - Thanks.
So, l hear they're golfing for mayor.
Actually...
they're golfing for you.
- No. - Yeah.
- No. - Mmm.
Can l make this an lrish coffee?
This okay?
Just--
Oh, that's a five.
[ Clicks ]
- [ Clicks ] - That was a gimme.
No, no, no. There are no gimmes.
- lt was inside the leather. - Yeah, you gotta get it in the hole.
[ Sighs ]
- [ Clicks ] - l'll take a seven.
Actually, it's 1 5.
Fifteen? [ Laughs ]
- No way! - Yes way.
- The president is right. lt's seven. - Yeah, it was seven.
Well, let's count 'em.
One, out ofbounds. Two, back on the tee.
Three, in the rough.
Four, in the sand.
-Five,you missed completely. - Oh!
Six, uh, almost out of sand, but still in it.
Seven, finally out of the sand...
into that sand.
Eight, out of the sand, into the rough.
That's when you threw your club at the tree. Yeah.
[ Mutters ] Yeah.
Nine,you almost hit me.
Ten,you did hit me.
[ Clicks ]
Eleven, on the green. Twelve, you putt to six feet past the hole.
-That's when you said that curse that l've never heard before. -[ Muttering lncoherently ]
Thirteen, you putt to one foot from the hole.
Fourteen,you missed the putt. You said, "That's a gimme. '"
l said, "No, there are no gimmes. '"
Fifteen, in the hole.
[ Sighs ] Fifteen.
- [ Both Laughing ] - Oh.! That was so close.!
All right, now, through the sugars...
Mm-hmm.
and then around the saucer...
Mm-hmm.
and through the ketchup tunnel.
And the winner gets Morris Gutman.
- Married. - Oh. Kent.
[ Both Laughing ]
Are you trying to get me to throw the match?
- Mmm. Reuben. - Who? Who's Reuben?
[ Shouting ] ""l said, get the president!''
[ Laughing ] That's a great idea.
[ Together] The winner gets Reuben.
Ready?
[ Screaming, Laughing ]
[ Sally ] l just need a do-over.
Okay, Handy,you're up about a million strokes.
lt's the last hole. How about double or nothing?
What's ""double''? What's ""nothing''?
Well, ""nothing'' is, uh, we're even, tie, status quo.
Uh, ""double'' would be, uh, l back off Sally, drop out of the mayor's race.
You got it. Okay. Go ahead. You hit.
But, you know...
if l'm gonna risk, uh, all that...
you gotta give me something.
You gotta, uh-- Oh, l don't know--
What?
One throw.
- Throw? - Yeah, l get one throw.
Because l can't play you even. You got local knowledge here. You're killing me.
He can't throw either. Bury him.
Okay. You get one throw.
But if we tie, l win.
Well, you drive a hard bargain, but okay.
Yeah, baby.! [ Chuckles ]
There's the old form back.
Okay.
What?
Hey, what-- what are you doing?
Hey! What's that?
l said one throw. l didn't say whose ball.
- [ Gasps ] - You're out of bounds.
Click, click, click.
[ Chuckles ]
Good morning, sir. Everything all right?
Oh,just dandy.
l'm a 1 0 handicap, and l shot a 1 42.
You and l have to have a serious talk about my handicap, Miss Sutherland.
Now, Mr. President?
Later.
l heard you broke even. At least you didn't lose.
The most humiliating round of my life.
Time to take the gloves off, Bert. Let's bury this guy.
- Well, sir, he's clean as a whistle. - Oh, come on.
Surely he did something.
Knocked up a local, grew marijuana.
Hell, l grew marijuana.
We'll find dirt, Eagle, even if we have to make it up.
- Exactly. - l don't believe this.
What?
Mr. President. [ Clears Throat ]
- l'm giving my notice. - Your notice?
Yes. l can't work here any longer.
Are you drunk, for God's sakes? We've been together 1 5 years.
Yes, exactly.
And in all that time you have never once gone negative.
At least not first.
And you have never, ever stooped to threats or... harassment.
Grace, he brought in Charlotte.
Charlotte. lf that's not harassment, what is?
Mr. President, you have two days...
two hours and 21 minutes...
until this election is over.
And then l'm gone.
What's that?
l think she quit, sir.
Not that. That.
Oh, this? lt's a new poll. Five points.
- Five? - Down.
What's the sample size?
Come on, Bert. What's the sample size?
- Everybody. - Everybody? This is a disaster.!
Not to pile on, sir, but l'm worried about the book deals too.
Aw, crap. lt's like some mythic Greek puzzle.
""The riddle of the handyman. Somewhere, the answer.''
Sir, let's not panic. This isn't over.
Wait a minute. Wait a minute.
- What's wrong with us? - [ Both ] What?
- l'll give it to him. lt's that simple. - Wait. You don't mean quit.
You can't quit, Eagle.
l wouldn't be quitting. That's the beauty of it.
l'll say how qualified he is, how he's the best man for the job.
And tonight, at the debate, l'll throw him my support.
lf l win, l win.
But if l lose, it's because l made the most magnanimous gesture in political history...
and people took my advice.
- That's brilliant, sir. - Thank you.
And then l'd get the girl. Uh--
- Sally. - Sally! Right.
- Sally. Hey, hi. l'm-- l'm here. - [ Barks ]
l'm getting ready for the debate. You wanna come in?
No, l'm gonna get goin'. See ya.
Hold it. What's going on?
What's all this stuff?
Oh. l, um--
l won Reuben in a putting contest...
so l have to make room for some of his stuff.
- You... what? - l know.
l mean, can you imagine someone actually playing golf to win a person?
- Now, look-- - No.
Don't insult me by trying to defend this...
'cause if l let myself dwell on it, l am really gonna lose it.
- But, Sally, it wasn't-- - l said don't.
- Easy. - l just wanna settle this amicably. Okay?
- There's your stuff. - My stuff? Wh--
Hold on, hold on. This is yours.
Remember?
From me. Christmas.
Don't you remember?
That was the year the power went out. We had that big snowstorm.
We were so frustrated. We couldn't turn this on and watch it.
Then the power came back and we turned it on, and--
and you looked so beautiful...
by the light of it.
And then we--
You know.
By the light of it.
l remember.
And then we stayed up all night and talked.
Yeah. Yeah.
Do you remember what we talked about?
[ Whispers ] No.
The future.
We talked about the future, Handy.
Sally, wait.
l don't wanna wait anymore.
Good luck at the debate.
Are you coming?
She's not coming.
[ People Laughing, Chattering ]
All right, guys, that's it. Two minutes. We go in two minutes.
Two minutes, Mr. President. Excuse me, sir.
My hands are shaking. l can't even go to the bathroom. l'll pee all over the place.
Relax, honey.
- l'm not ready for this. - Two minutes, Handy.
- Yeah. - Be on your toes. Be sharp.
You may have won the first debate, but he's a python.
Gentlemen, l believe we're ready.
lt's starting!
[ Announcer] Live, from the seaport town of Mooseport, Maine...
the mayoral debates...
with your candidates Monroe ""Eagle'' Cole...
and Harold ""Handy'' Harrison.
We take you now to your moderator, Avery Hightower.
Good evening. l'm Avery Hightower.
[ Applause ]
l am honored to moderate...
the second and final Mooseport mayoral debate.
As is tradition, we will start with a game of rock-paper-scissors--
- Handy! Not scissors. - [ All Laughing ]
Gentlemen.
Uh, Mr. Hightower, could l--
l'd like to make a statement first, if that's okay.
Mr. President?
No, that's fine. l have a statement also.
-Just-- Okay? Thank you. - Yes. Gentlemen.
Hey. Hi, everybody.
- [ Audience Responding ] Hi, Handy. - l just wanna say one thing.
l'm a little embarrassed...
about the way l've been running my campaign.
- [ Audience Murmuring ] - Ohh!
An election, it shouldn't be about personalities.
You know? Or-- Or golf.
- Or who we're dating. - [ All Murmuring ]
Sally, if you're watching this...
l was wrong to bring our relationship into this.
l'm sorry.
Mmm.
l guess l did it again. l just brought our relationship into it again.
- [ Audience Laughing ] - So l'm sorry for that...
too.
l guess what l want to say, folks, is...
l think an election should be about the town, about what we need...
and how we can work together to get things done.
The president can do great things for us.
- Son of a-- - Bitch.
Having him as a mayor, that's an opportunity that we can't pass up, folks.
[ Man ] Yeah. Right.!
Tomorrow morning l'm going to the polls...
and l'm casting my vote for the president...
Monroe Cole...
for the mayor of Mooseport.
Son of a bitch!
[ Applause Subsides ]
Ladies and gentlemen...
what you've just seen...
is a selfless act.
[ Cheering, Shouting ]
Handy Harrison...
is... Mooseport.
He-- He is Mooseport.
He knows its problems, he knows its pulse...
he knows its plumbing...
as only a person who lives here can.
So tomorrow morning...
l'm going to the polls.
l'm walking into that booth and opening that ballot...
that simple piece of paper...
that our forefathers gave their lives to secure...
[ Groans ]
and l'm casting my vote for Harrison.
Harold "Handy'"Harrison. Let's hear it.!
[ Applause, Cheering ]
- Man, he's good. - Mm-hmm.
Well, what you've just seen, ladies and gentlemen, is politics at its finest.
- Politics as it should be. - [ Cheering, Applause Continue ]
- You did good. - l felt like l had to do that.
- Harrison. - Hey. That was something, Mr. President.
You son of a bitch. You knew l was gonna do that, so you did it first.
- l didn't know that. How could l know that? - You bugged me!
What we have just witnessed here, on this rare night...
- You bugged me! - l'm not doing anything!
- is a show of decency... - Let me go!
- a show of inclusiveness... - [ Handy ] Ow.! Let go of my arm.!
a show of mutual respect.
- [ All Shouting ] - Let go of me!
lt's time to follow their example. lt's time to--
[ Shouting Continues ]
- Let go of me.! -[ Handy, Monroe Groaning ]
Mr. President, are you okay? l'm gonna get it off!.
Oww.! Bullard.! Get it off me.!
[ Radio:Jim ] So, Danny, you see that debate last night?
- [ Radio:Danny ] Did l. Was anybody hurt? - What?
[Jim ] Miraculously not. Apparently only minor bruises and abrasions.
- [ Danny ] What happened? - [Jim ] They're saying it was a freak accident.
[ Danny ] Yeah, very freaky.
[Jim ] Apparently, the stage rigging snapped...
and fell on the candidates while they were shaking hands.
- Wow. Well,you know what we say. - [ Both ] lt's Mooseport.!
Polls open in 20 minutes, Mr. President.
- [ Danny ] How about a little music to vote by? - [Jim ] Good idea.!
##[ Rock:Men Singing ]
[ Male Bicyclist ] Good morning, sir.
[ Female Bicyclist ] Morning, Mr. President.
- ## [ Continues ] - Cloud, pull over here, will you.
##[ Fades ]
How's your nose?
lt's okay. How's your lip? And your back?
lt's just the lip, and, uh...
it's fine.
Well, l just...
assumed your back hurt...
with, you know, lrma jumping on it.
Well...
see you at the polls.
Wanna hit a few?
What,just hit 'em into the water?
Yeah.
Martha's into scuba...
and in the spring she puts on a wet suit and she goes and gets 'em.
Somehow or another, l can't picture Martha in a wet suit.
Yeah, well, you're lucky. l can't not picture it.
[ Laughs ] All right.
[ Handy ] Oh.! You topped, pulled and hooked it all in one.
Here. Let me show you--
Mr. President, you've shaken a lot of hands.
- Shake hands with the club. - Like this?
Yes. Now,just look at the ball...
and picture like it's the former first lady.
Just whack it.
Blood-sucking vampire.
Aah! [ Groans ]
Wow.! You two had issues.
[ Laughing ] Oh,Jesus!
So, uh...
how come you didn't ask her?
- Ask her what? - You know.
Oh. Well...
l don't know. l probably should have.
Scared, l guess.
Well, marriage is a scary thing.
l'd be the first one to tell you that.
But once in a while there comes along that special girl.
No, l mean, that's just it. She is special.
l just figured...
eventually...
she'll find somebody else.
And, you know, you always hope that next guy will be some loser...
not the president.
Handy, on the 1 6th hole of our match...
you laid up.
Yeah. l remember. l did.
- You played it safe. - So? You ended up in the water.
l never would have been president of the United States...
if l'd laid up.
[ Laughs ]
Sometimes you just gotta go for the green.
Let's go vote.
- [ Morris ] Out of the way.! - Here he is.!
- [ Reporters Shouting ] - Hold them back!
Mr. President, over here.! Please, we have some questions.!
[ Bullard ] Good morning, ladies and gentlemen. Please step back.
No comments today. No questions.
- Okay, thanks. - Thank you.
- Okay. - [ Reporter ] Please.! One question.!
[ Reporters Continue Shouting Questions ]
Kindly walk in over there.
[ Bullard ] The pageantry of democracy is working.
That's why we love Mooseport so much.
[ Bullard Continues, lndistinct ]
Once a politician...
always a politician.
[ Anchorwoman ] lt's 1 0 minutes past the hour...
and there are 20 minutes left before the polls close in Mooseport, Maine.
With the former president's campaign spending millions...
on TV, radio and print advertising...
it's an amazing feat that Handy Harrison's grass-roots campaign...
still has him neck-and-neck--
lt was so beautiful.
[ Sobbing ]
- Hello. - Oh.
Spectacular, isn't it?
- l was thinking about-- - For once don't talk, please.
- What? -Just listen. Okay? Can you do that?
A long while back...
my mom asked me what l saw in you.
You probably find it hard to believe that anybody could ask such a thing...
but she did.
""l see a man l admire,'' l told her.
""A flawed man, certainly, but a man with principles.''
Since this Handy thing...
l've seen a man...
who only cares about ego and power...
a man who will stoop to anything...
to win a position he doesn't even want...
from someone he probably shouldn't even beat.
And it angers me, and it upsets me.
- Oh, and mostly it just makes me sad. - Grace--
Because... you used to be better than that, Monroe.
You really were.
And that is no handshake, you son of a bitch.
Sugar, Mr. President?
Oh, uh, three, please.
No, no, no. One.
- Good morning, Mr. President. - Good morning.
Where's Grace?
- l don't know, sir. - Could you find her, please?
Yes, sir. Let's go.
Eagle, we gotta get moving. They want you down in town for the announcement.
Announcement? l can't expose myself to an announcement without knowing who won.
They won't tell me, Eagle.
l've done everything short of bribing them...
with a year's supply of beer and night crawlers...
but l'll get down there and work on it.
Get on that toga and get down to that circus, Eagle.
Please, sir.
Sally, um--
Handy.! You back here?
- Uh, hey. - lt's time, man.
- Yeah, l know. - Don't you want to find out if you won or lost... badly?
- l'm gonna-- Yeah, go ahead. - No, l'll wait for ya.
- l'm gonna meet you there. - l want to. - No, go.
You're my ride, man. Come on!
Okay. All right. Let's go.
## [ March ]
[ Reporter ] ln a few moments...
Former President Cole and Harold "Handy'"Harrison are due to arrive.
Will big politics and big money carry the day, or will the little man prevail?
- We shall soon see. - [ Morris on P.A.] Testing.! Testing, testing.!
We're just about ready to start.
And, uh-- Ah! l think l see the president coming now!
- Whoo-hoo! - [ Cheering ]
- And, oh, there's Handy. - [ Barks ]
- Hey-- Hey, did you see Sally? - No.
- Hmm. Well, when you see her, just let me know. Okay? - Okay, okay.
Mr. President, Handy, just come up here. Okay?
- Sir, the yellow speech is if you win. - Okay.
The blue one is if you, uh--
Should l get out of your eye line, sir?
Ah, come on, boy.
- Hey! How you doing? - How you doin'?
They're all here.
Thank you, sir. Again?
##[ Continues ]
Yeah!
- ##[ Ends ] - [ Man ] Handy,you're the man.!
[ Woman ] We need you, Mr. President!
ln the 2 40-year history of our fair Mooseport...
there has never been a more exciting mayoral race!
[ Cheering, Applause ]
Mr. President? Handy?
My fellow citizens, the new mayor of Mooseport is...
##[ Drumroll ]
Monroe Cole!
- [ Cheering, Applause ] - ##[ Band:March ]
- Congratulations. - Oh. Thank you.
##[ Ends ]
As l'm sure you all know, this was Mooseport's largest election turnout ever!
- How big a margin? - Tight. Real tight.
But the win's the thing.
- lt was so close. - Well, that's something.
- Right? - Yeah.
ln the end, the president won...
by one vote!
- You won by one vote. - [ Crowd Murmuring ]
One vote? Oh, my God.
[ Morris ] lt doesn't get any closer.!
Wow.
- [ Morris ] Ladies and gentlemen... - My vote.
the 23rd mayor of Mooseport...
Monroe ""Eagle'' Cole!
[ Crowd Cheering, Applauding ]
- Thank you, Morris. - [ Crowd Quiets ]
Thank you, everybody.
Ladies and gentlemen...
once again...
the great American electoral process...
has--
Folks...
you know...
a little while ago a person who has been with me for years...
a person who l trust like no one else...
reminded me of my principles.
Shook some sense into me.
So l have a confession to make.
l said...
that l would vote for Handy.
l-l didn't. l voted for myself.
- [ Crowd Gasping ] - [ Man ] What?
[ Chuckles ]
So my first act as mayor...
is to turn the job over to the rightful winner, Handy Harrison.
Handy, come on over here. Let's hear it for Handy.
[ Woman ] Go, Handy.! All right.!
Whoo! All right!
- Come on. - [ Woman Chanting ] Handy.! Handy.!
- Ah! - Mr. President, l--
[ Man ] Attaboy, Handy.!
Folks, l have a confession to make also.
[ Laughing ]
[ People Shouting ]
- l voted for myself too. - What?
[ Crowd Gasping, Murmuring ]
You won this thing fair and square, Mr. President.
So my first act as mayor is to turn the job back over to the rightful winner...
Mr. Monroe Cole!
- [ Cheering, Applause ] - Yeah! Yeah!
Hmph!
There's no beating you, is there?
Not on this one, sir.
[ Chuckling ] All right, l accept.
##[ Band:March ]
No, he won.
Well, tell HarperCollins Random House is back up to 20 mil.
Yes, please do.
And tell them to send me half.
- See you in D.C. [ Clicks Tongue ] - [ Gasps ]
- Any sign of her? - Yes, sir. Agent Cloud found her. She's at the airport.
Airport? Come on. Let's get moving.
Look, Sally, uh, l don't know--
- Uh-- - Hey, Handy.
- Nice try. - Oh, thank you.
- [ Girl ] Hi, Handy. - Hi, Sophie. Hi.
Look, Sally--
How you doin'?
[ Groans ] God,just--just do it.
-Just-- - Hey, Handy!
l just saw what you did! l couldn't believe it!
Thank you, Reuben. Yeah.
l voted for you! Ah!
Oh-- Oh, well-- You don't even like me. Sorry.
Oh, God.
Huh? What?
Oh... no.
No. No. Please, please, please.
No!
Oh, nice!
Ladies and gentlemen...
Trans Capital Flight 27 to Dulles has been delayed.
- [ Passengers Grumbling ] - Please bear with us.
We'll let you know as soon as we know.
Grace?
- Grace. - Here, Mr. President.
[ Man ] ls that him?
What are you doing here?
l gave my notice. Remember?
Oh, Grace. Come back.
No.
[ Chuckles ] No.
Grace, look at me.
l'll never have more than one sugar in my coffee the rest of my life if you'll have me.
And no salt.
The former president of the United States...
is down on his knees.
- Yeah.! - All right.!
That's no handshake either.
- l'll go down on my knees again-- - No. No, no.
You certainly took your time.
What if my plane had left?
Oh, you haven't heard.
l'm the mayor now.
This is Cloud. Clear the flight.
Turns out that l have a little bit of pull here at this airport now.
Flight 27 passengers...
we've now been cleared for takeoff.
- [ Passengers Exclaiming ] - Congratulations, Mr. President.
That would be congratulations, Mr. Mayor.
[ Passengers Chattering, Laughing ]
- Congratulations, Mr. Mayor! - [ Mutters ] Great.
[ Woman ] Thanks, Mr. Mayor.!
[ Man ] Congratulations, Mr. Mayor.
Come on! [ Grunting ]
- [ Barks, Panting ] - Oh!
You doing the plumbing for the whole town now?
[ Chuckles ] No, l came to see you.
- Through the drain? -Just one second.
[ Grunts ]
Look, Sally...
l was gonna prepare this whole speech--
What?
l was gonna prepare this whole speech...
but l think it's better if l just say this out of the moment.
All right.
The truth is, you're beautiful.
And you're smart and wonderful.
And-- [ Sighs ]
And l'm not-- l'm not.
- Handy-- - Hang on, 'cause l'm-- l'm in the moment now.
This whole thing, it's made me take a pretty hard look at myself.
And l'm not smart, a-and l'm not beautiful, but--
but, hell, l just beat the most popular president in history.
So-- [ Sighs ] maybe l'm okay.
Almost.
You almost beat him.
Sally, between me and you-- just our little secret-- l beat him.
Do you think l would've voted for myself after l told the whole town l wouldn't?
You gave it away?
Why?
Because he needs it. l don't.
l--
l only need you.
That's--
That's my speech.
Oh, Handy.
Hold on. l got--
l got you something.
- Dirt? - No, it's--
- lt's-- lt's dirty, but-- - Oh.
Look, l don't know how you feel--
- ls that a ""yes'' kiss? - Yes.
lt's dirty, but it's-- it's really-- it's beautiful.
- lt's beautiful. - lt's, uh, big and--
That's not just one diamond. There's diamonds on the side. There's diamonds and mud.
Oh, did l say in the speech-- l forgot the whole part about how much l love you.
l didn't say it, but yes-- l didn't-- You know, there's no--
l didn't make a word thing out of it, but you can't even measure it.
lt's like-- Like, if you take the sun--
You could take the heat from that sun, and you--
lf you put all of that in a love container, you'd--
Got it.
- Did you get it? - Yes. [ Giggling ]
But you said yes anyway, so this is all extra, like a bonus.
- [ Whistles ] Let's go. - My heart's beating fast.
- [ Giggles ] - Plunger, come on!
- Come on.! - How'd it get in the sewer?
- Oh, that's-- You know. Things just happen to me. - [ Laughs ]
Did l happen to notice you're wearing a thong?
- [ Groans ] - Oh.! Oh.!
Oh, my God.! Are you okay?
[ Sighs ] You did it again.
l barely touched you.
Okay, look, if this marriage is gonna work...
you're gonna have to realize how strong you are.
You're stronger than me. Just accept it.
- l'm not stronger than you. - Yes, you are.
- l'm a girl. - That's right.
So it hurts physically and emotionally. Come on, boys.
Oh. What about this?
- Bow on my head. - A bow on your-- ln white, l would buy it.
- No, l'm serious. - Excuse me, ladies.
- ls Handy around? - Handy.
You got company.
Hey. How you doin'?
Congratulations, Handy.
You almost beat the most popular president in history.
- Oh, well, thank you. No hard feelings, right? - Are you kidding?
Let me cut to the chase.
- What are you doing in about two years? - What do you mean?
How does Governor Harrison sound to you?
Governor? [ Stammering ]
No. Thank you.
We've got a real possibility here.
Listen, thank you very much. l appreciate that you're thinking about me.
But, um, l'm kinda happy right where l am.
Well, l'll respect that.
Okay.
Have a good day.
- [ Door Opens ] - [ Bells Jingling ]
Hey, uh, hold on one second.
Let mejust ask you.
- Can a governor... - [ Door Closes ]
kinda tell a mayor what to do?
Oh, yeah.
- ##[ Pop ] - Oww!
- ##[ Man Singing ] - [ Stammering ]
##[ Ends ]